Nadeem Farooq paracha Has Gone Nuts

Yes, its official now. Nadeem Farooq Paracha has gone nuts. After drum rolling same shit in each one of his pieces of utter stupidity, the guy has finally decided to open his mouth with absolute uselessness about the religiosity of Pakistan Cricket Team which has just finished getting hammered by Aussies. This time, in his emblematic style of arguing like a spoil child of a careless mother, he is saying that Pakistanis surrendered against Australia because they are busy in preaching religion rather than concentrating on the game. Yeah, its creepy, I know that. What makes his already unsound argument even more flawed is the fact that he is not even quoting the historical context correctly.

Here is a gem from our crying and frustrated baby:

“So when did the Pakistan cricket team become a propaganda and preaching platform for the Tableeghi Jamaat? Writers like the late Khalid Hassan and Amir Mir point to the year 1999, when Wasim Akram quit as captain and was replaced by Waqar Yunus.”

Get over dude, stop writing wrong facts. Also, get the writers you are mentioning right about the particulars; i know one is already dead.Waqar Younis took over captaincy in 2001, not in 1999. Wasim Akram was replaced by Moin Khan as a captain and that was in 2000 as well, not in 1999.

Here’s another:

“However, even though the team’s 2002 World Cup jamboree in South Africa was a disaster, Mushtaq and Anwar hung around as preachers and were successful in bagging flamboyant batsman, Inzimamul Haq.”

Again, the World Cup was in 2003 not in 2002. Even a child could tell the original year, but a columnist of Pakistan’s major English language daily newspaper cannot. And, by the way, how many matched Anwar and Mushtaq played after 2003 World Cup. As far as I remember, Anwar was not seen in any role with the national team after 2003 debacle in South Africa.

The talk of religion being the reason of Pakistan’s disastrous performance on cricket field is a cliché now. It cannot be regarded as reason of dismal show on the ground. Let’s extend the argument of our howling columnist: as long as players are performing on the field, whether they go to night clubs ,bars or preach the religion, it’s their personal business, and it should not bother any person.

So Mr. Conservative Liberal, again, get over and grow up. Let the players do what they wanted to do as long as it’s not affecting their professional responsibilities. And comment on anything but cricket because you don’t know a fuck about the subject.

The Danda Youth of Pakistan

This group of young people usually come from urban middle class backgrounds. Their parents are rich enough to send them to private English medium schools, and when they are done with their A-levels, they try to get a student visa of some European country or US; if they remain unsuccessful in getting a student Visa, they go to some top notch private university of Pakistan. They love to go to Shesha bars of the city in the evening or if this luxury is inaccessible, they, in case of being a male creature, just love to go to some posh area of the city to have some "poondi". They are very happy of the fact that now Pakistani cinemas can play Bollywood movies. They are pissed of the fact that now there are less concerts to attend and those few concerts that are left have very expensive tickets. They remember the old times when their Danda Man was in power and Bryan Adams performed “Summer of 69” in Karachi.

They think there is a lot of corruption in Pakistan. Wherever they go, they find people with their mouths open asking for some “mithai” for the jobs like to get their electricity meter fixed or to get their domicile made which is needed if they want to attend public medical or engineering school . They recognize that “mithai” is bad for health, and they also know that if they would give “mithai” to the official with open mouth, he or she would get addict. But they say that as long as we are the one who are giving this “mithai” and the officials are the people who are getting this “mithai”, this is just fine. They believe that they should get the easy way out by offering this “mithai” because the fair way is difficult time taking. The remember the old times when Danda was in the power and amount of “mithai” required to get a job done was less than it is today. Like, before, because of the Danda one kilogram of pure “Gulabjamuns” were enough to get their electricity meter fixed; now, it takes no less than two and half kilogram of pure “Gulabjamuns” to get their shit done. They want somebody to bring the old Danda again, but they are not willing to use the difficult and the right way; they only way they want is the easy way. They say that this is what their fathers did, and this is what they will do.


They think that the country is going through worst of its times. They hate the politicians. They believe that they are only good for corruption and nothing else. They say that they didn’t casted their vote because everyone is a “Kamina, Saala, Corrupt” and they are the poor souls who can only offer “mithai” to those who want it. They think that they can't do anything about the current state of their country because those in power are so powerful that they are just unable to do anything about that. Whenever you start discussion about the current affairs of the State with them, they stand up and in a loud growling voice, they say “ is mulk ka Kuch nahi hu sakta” ( nothing can be done of this country). They say the “Danda Man” kept everything in order. So what, if he allowed his allies to write-off the loans they had taken. At least, they didn’t build a “Surrey Palace” with that money; in fact, they started sugar mills as we all know that we need a lot of sugar for export, rather than for use at home.

They say that there were suicide bombings in the country on weekly basis during the Danda Raj. Now, they occur on daily basis. They ask the current Raj to do something about it and forget that the seeds of this problem were sown a long ago.


They say that all this “Democracy Shemocracy” is bullshit. They only want a Danda Man because they are horses tied to a carriage and you can’t drive a carriage without a Man with Danda.

On serious note: Alas! There are people in this “Land of Pure” who think they need a Danda.